Can You Live With The Miss?
At the beginning of the year you set some massive goals. You knew that these goals would take all of your effort, focus, and self belief to achieve. Day after day you worked. Sweat, blood, tears, sleepless nights, anxiety. You took on all of it for the prize of achieving the goal. And in the end… you failed.
I recently heard an interview with US Women's Soccer National Team head coach Jill Ellis where she made this comment:
“In the penalty kick situation, most people would pick the most confident person to go out and make the kick. I pick the person who can live with missing.”
I found this to be a very interesting perspective and take on success and achievement.
If you’re unfamiliar with soccer, the penalty kick situation comes up when the time has run out and the score is still tied. There are a series of players who come onto the field to go one on one with the goal keeper in an attempt to score and win the game.
The very last person to make the penalty
kick has the most pressure. In this situation, the player kicking the ball determines the fate of the game. So win or lose, this person is responsible.
As Coach Ellis said, most people just pick the person who is most confident, and for good reason. The person who is most confident, who has visualized this moment, has trained for it over and over, who has put in all the effort. They are the most likely to succeed. They should be the one to make the final kick.
But the perspective is flipped here. “I want the person who can live with missing.”
Now maybe some of you are having a hard time relating to the situation of being in a World Cup final and having the weight of your own expectations, your family, team, and a nation waiting on you to make the final play.
But we all have situations in life that come down to moments similar to this.
At some point in your life you have set a goal or set out to do something and it came down to a few final moments. Regardless of all your training, effort, blood, sweat and tears, you could have still failed.
Would you be able to live with yourself if you missed?
How many times have you seen someone go headlong after a goal, at the end of all their effort to fail, and to never set a big goal again. This person had all the confidence in the world, but when they failed… they collapsed. Never to achieve the same heights of success again.
I tell you often about setting goals, building habits, growing in confidence and mindset. But today I want you to think about failing for just a moment.
If you fail, will you be able to live with that failure, and still move on to an equally large goal?
In most situations people put in the most effort when they are 100% sure they will be successful. So when goals are set, they are set with the preconceived notion that there is no way to fail. In this situation, of course people go all in. There’s no chance of failing!
But what about when you couldn’t guarantee success? Did you still go all in?
I mentioned this concept to a dear friend of mine who is a best selling author, to which she responded about her first book:
“I had to put all my heart and soul into writing the story as best as I possibly could, knowing that’s what I had to do for the book to succeed. But also knowing that the moment I sent it to the publisher they could send it back saying it was amateur at best.”
So throughout the process she continued to grow her confidence, her thought process toward making this book as successful as possible, while still knowing it could amount to a flop. But this is where greatness lies in people who succeed in massive ways.
Despite the chance of failure. They go all in.
Despite the potential ridicule from others over a failure, they pour their whole heart into something.
And at the end of the day, succeed or fail, these individuals recognize that the process of pouring themselves out toward a definite end will always be worth it. For they know that at the end, that it is the way we grow in the process that matters, not the outcome.
As Tom Bilyeu, Founder of Quest Nutrition says:
“Success is never guaranteed, but the struggle is.”
As you think about your goals, your dreams, your strongest desires. Is the chance of failure what is holding you back? Is it the chance of not getting the end goal as you thought you might?
Ponder on this: Can I live with the miss?
As Always: Stay Humble, Stay Hungry